Mardi Gras

So I've been getting some flak for not updating for a while. Let me tell you why that is. I went to Mardi Gras this past weekend. Yeah, the real one. After a 22-hour drive from Minnesota, my frisbee team, GOP (Gods of Plastic), had one of the best practices we've ever had on some typically Louisianian, puddle-ridden fields. The practice was made much better by obscene amounts of laying out, a bottle of everclear, and two cases of beer. We practice in style.

So after practice the returners held up the bottle of Everclear and told us that we had to finish it over the course of the rest of the weekend. They thought we would buy mixers. We didn't. We passed the bottle around and took monster pulls of everclear, taking down about half the bottle on that Friday night, just before heading to Bourbon Street, New Orleans.

Let me just say this right now. Mardi Gras is ridiculous. It's like Memorial Day gone horribly wrong. First of all, everyone is drunk. Then there's a parade, but instead of throwing out candy, they throw out beads. And you want beads. Beads are the currency of Mardi Gras. You can earn them by skying bitches (jumping up and catching them) or dancing or showing parts of your body or drinking heavily or any combination of the above. So anyway. GOP fell on Mardi Gras and it didn't stand a chance. Over the course of the evening, myself or my teammates did all of the following:

-Saw Hulk Hogan
- Showed Penis for beads
- Was nearly Bro-Raped
- Drank around 20 40s
-Saw vajayjay
- Showed penis again for more beads (same guy)
- Debated with born-again Christians
-Climbed a greased pole in pursuit of an asshole on a balcony
-Showed titties
-Saw titties

We woke up the next morning hungover, but ready to play, which was after all the whole reason we were there. We went undefeated in our pool, beating Grinnell, Kansas B, Texas A&M, and Tulane. A&M was a really tough match, but we fired up and our defense shut them down towards the end. I'd also like to give a shout-out to the blitz-drunk little asian guy on Tulane, who would have a little rum & coke on the sidelind between every point of every game the whole day, then proceed to run around non-stop, not particularly trying to get the disc or get open, just running. That's what we like to see.

Our 4 wins gave us an opportunity to play for the win, and maybe play the Wisconsin Hodags, but we lost to Wisconsin Whitewater in a close game, putting us in the losers bracket. That ended play on Saturday, and we left to replenish ourselves at Izzo's illegal burritos. What's an illegal burrito you ask? Well I can't find a good picture, so just imagine two and a quarter Chipotle burritos stacked end to end and with more options of filling. They're ridiculous, and all of us rookies were forced to order one. I decided to shoot for the record of finishing in 8 minutes 40 seconds, but only managed 10 minutes, and by only i mean I ate a billion gallons of food in ten minutes without throwing up. Which reminds me, somehow the Izzo's experience devolved into two of my teammates shotgunning beers in the parking lot and one of them throwing up half a pound of Mexican goodness.

Anyways, I had a 16" burrito in my stomach and it was time for the tournament party. I wanted to get drunk so my only choice was clear. Ever-clear. The only substance on Earth that can work through an Izzo's burrito. But back to the party. GOP has this thing about winning parties. We show up, we get drunk, and we do some sort of hilarious shenanigans that entitle us to declare victory on the event. Things were not going well at first as the burritos inhibited our drunkenness and we lost a boat (beer chugging) race to Okalahoma State. Finally one of us got drunk enough to landshark, and if there's one thing that wins a party, it's a land shark. A landshark is when you get naked and are carried around horizontally with a frisbee clenched between your buttcheeks (thus the shark). What made it better was that a bunch of girl frisbee players volunteered to carry my drunken naked teammate all throughout the party to cries of "Hell yeah!" "Oh my God!" and "I just saw my first penis!" When the dust had settled, the party was won, and our hapless landsharker made-out with a girl who had earlier claimed she would kiss anyone that would do a landshark. After winning the party it was time to go home and rest, but I felt I hadn't done enough stupid stuff yet, so I got naked and jumped in the frigid outdoor pool.

The next morning sucked. All of our muscles were unbelievably sore and we let our mediocre opponents get out to an early lead. But then through the miracle of ibuprofin and our half time cheer of "We're Not That Drunk!" we came back for the easy win. Next was our rivals, Duluth. Our games with them are always close and they always have bad spirit and are obnoxious about the rules, so they can be a real pain in the ass.

So we started playing, sure that our weary limbs weren't up for it as they got out to an early lead, but then we decided we weren't gonna take it and battled all the way to universe point, 14-14. We got a sweet layout D on the goal line and then one of our players called a time-out. We were in hard-cap, so a time-out is techinically a turnover, but any team with good spirit would give it back. Not Dultuth. They snatched up the disc and threw in into the endzone without giving us time to set up. It was pretty shitty. But we played well.

Then it was time to go home, with a scalp full of sunburn and a pocket full of memories.

Oh yeah, I leave for Las Vegas tomorrow. I'll let you know how that goes.

Roll-Bounce.