Magic the Gathering: The Computer Game

One might be wondering why I'm typing this at 4:40 in the morning. Well, the short reason is because of Magic the Gatherings single player computer game. If you enjoy the real life card game, or card games in general, this computer game is very faithful to the cards as well as highly addictive. The single player mode, Shandalar, puts you into the game as a wizard, playing with whatever color you choose to start, and then　evolving into all sorts of crazy deck ideas. You fight all sorts of monsters enemies (in card games with your deck) and you can take cards from them if you win. You can also explore dungeons and do quests, and travel to different merchants to buy a certain card. The ultimate goal is to defeat the five wizards (one for each color) and then the main bad guy, who's name I forgot, so we'll call him Deathmaster. Deathmaster is extremely difficult, so you need to have built a very strong deck to beat him.





This game shows so much more creativity and imaginative gameplay than the string of Yu-Gi-Oh games that dominated the video card game genre years after this Windows 95 wonder's release. I'd really like to see some kind of game like it, but as this kind of game does nothing to show off graphics, but rather it's poor homeless cousin "art", it probably won't be made. Well, actually, they could make a sweet fantasy world with great CG and stuff and then the card games could use good art. I hope someone in a game developing studio reads this. Bring back Shandalar. It worked.

If you want to download the game, click here. Don't be afraid if you don't already know how to play. The game is pretty simple to pick up, and there are rules available online and in the program. That being said, it is now time to go sleep on my fresh futon. It's fresh because the dog peed on my old one. Ha ha, goddammit.

Tonkatsu Snatch, Nagano Snatch, and Other Fun Card Games to Be Played Without Women

Right now I'm at my buddy Yui's house in Tokyo, and I am unable to upload any pictures, oh wait, Yes I am, he has an SD reader built into his laptop. Suh-weet. So me, Yui, and Chris spent just about all of today traveling from Nagano to Tokyo, and I have to say it was the best day of travel I've ever had. We got up late this morning mainly because of the large quantity of beer we consumed the night before and the late hours we spent playing Tonkatsu Snatch.

Which brings me to my main point, Tonkatsu Snatch is the greatest. Any invented card game that is still fun after 2 hours will likely be fun forever. I'm pretty sure that'll hold up. Anyways. Tonkatsu Snatch was born on Chris and Yui's bus ride up to Nagano. It started out as a version of war, except when you have two cards of the same value against each other you can try to "snatch" the card from the other person's hand. They then upgraded it to any time there are two cards of the same suit, the lower card can try to snatch the higher one. Only one snatch per card. If any of these snatching rules are broken (multiple snatches, snatch from high to low), the rule breaker receives a backhanded slap. When Yui and Chris arrived in Nagano, we soon adapted this masterwork game into a three person variant, where any time there are two of the same card or two cards of the same suit a snatch-for-all occurs, in which any player can snatch a card greater than or equal to their own. If no snatch is successful, the highest card wins. If a successful snatch occurs, the other player keeps their card in hand below the next card, to be snatched, won or lost on the next round. All of the same slapping rules apply for misdemeanors. The game ends when one person runs out of cards, at which point he is slapped by both other players, and then the player with the most cards wins. Don't be perturbed by all the rules, as the game will still be fun while most of these are bent or broken. The name tonkatsu snatch comes from Chris's habit of accidentally calling the kotatsu (heated table) where we play, tonkatsu (pork cutlet) combined with the given snatching nature of the game. Also, this is what I would look like if I were Jesus:

Next is Nagano Snatch, which we invented on the train from Yamanouchi to Nagano. Although Nagano Snatch is a much simpler game, it requires some special equipment, namely a deck of nude playing cards. The game is played similarly to spades, where all the cards (including the Jokers) are dealt out to the three players. The players must follow suit, as in hearts or spades, and the MOST ATTRACTIVE card wins. This is subjective, but it isn't hard to reach a consensus. If it is between two cards, the third player not involved in the dispute is the judge. If you do not have any cards of a certain suit, you can play any card, and jokers are every suit. For additional fun you can play with the scoring system of spades, making it a really multi-faceted game. Try different decks and players to change the experience. We played this game for 4 hours on the bus to Tokyo amidst downing a liter and a half of delicious Japanese beer apiece, I highly recommend.

We're currently working on some more games to incorporate into some kind of Todd, Chris, and Yui olympics. That should be pretty sweet. Also, has anyone seen that awesome kimchi commercial on fujiTV, I think. It's where this guy adds a bunch of green onions to a pot of kimchi in slow motion, then he reaches in his chop sticks with his mouth wide open ALSO in slow motion, then eats it. All the while, in the background the music is a bunch of men yelling "Kimuchi Kimuchi, Kimuchi Kimuchi". It's probably my favorite commercial ever. I will be forever indebted to anyone who finds me a link to it online. I looked hard, but this is what I found instead. Make sure you watch to the very end, that's the best part.