Fun Things to Yell at Hockey Games

I'm just gonna put this out there. Hockey games are boring. Unless you're drunk. First let me tell you how that came to be. So you know the Power Hour right, a shot of beer every minute for an hour, well me and my roommate had this great idea of making a power hour playlist ( you can download a program to do it here) using only shitty 90's music that makes us angry (Nickelback, Sum 41, All American Rejects). The idea was to get drunk and furious before catching a bus to the Carleton men's hockey opener. I'd say it was pretty successful.

Now things got hilarious as soon as we were waiting for the bus. Imagine a writhing mass of 150+ drunk college students each trying as hard as they can to get on to 70-person school bus. It was like a mosh pit with more pain and less music. So after I had headbutted my way to seat in the third row, it was time to be belligerent.

I got to the hockey game and took up my shouting position at the top of the bleachers and the following are things I may or may not have yelled at the top of my lungs (with a little help from a flask of peppermint schnapps):

"Kill the non-believers!"

"Win it for the heathens!"

"Blood for Oil!"

"God hates the other team!"

"Break the bonds of the oppressor!"

"Beat his ass! Beat his ass! Beat his fuckin' ass!"

"Lightning bolt...Lightning bolt...lightning bolt...lightning bolt...death...death...Death DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH!"

It was good times. I don't think I really affected the game any, but the crowd enjoyed me. Carleton wins 4-1. Then I went home, smoked 5 bowls, drank some more, and passed out playing pokemon. Later bitches.

Magic the Gathering: The Computer Game

One might be wondering why I'm typing this at 4:40 in the morning. Well, the short reason is because of Magic the Gatherings single player computer game. If you enjoy the real life card game, or card games in general, this computer game is very faithful to the cards as well as highly addictive. The single player mode, Shandalar, puts you into the game as a wizard, playing with whatever color you choose to start, and then　evolving into all sorts of crazy deck ideas. You fight all sorts of monsters enemies (in card games with your deck) and you can take cards from them if you win. You can also explore dungeons and do quests, and travel to different merchants to buy a certain card. The ultimate goal is to defeat the five wizards (one for each color) and then the main bad guy, who's name I forgot, so we'll call him Deathmaster. Deathmaster is extremely difficult, so you need to have built a very strong deck to beat him.





This game shows so much more creativity and imaginative gameplay than the string of Yu-Gi-Oh games that dominated the video card game genre years after this Windows 95 wonder's release. I'd really like to see some kind of game like it, but as this kind of game does nothing to show off graphics, but rather it's poor homeless cousin "art", it probably won't be made. Well, actually, they could make a sweet fantasy world with great CG and stuff and then the card games could use good art. I hope someone in a game developing studio reads this. Bring back Shandalar. It worked.

If you want to download the game, click here. Don't be afraid if you don't already know how to play. The game is pretty simple to pick up, and there are rules available online and in the program. That being said, it is now time to go sleep on my fresh futon. It's fresh because the dog peed on my old one. Ha ha, goddammit.