Gas Pass: A Solution to America's Driving Addiction

Now that you're done laughing at the name gas pass, time to get to business. So I'm reading this book, The Undercover Economist. It's very similar to Freakonomics in that it is a guide to important economic concepts and the way they work in everyday life that you can read without ever having taken an economics class. God knows I haven't. There aren't any complicated graphs or math, just solid arguments and stuff that makes the world around you make sense. So far I've learned about why coffee costs so much and where that money goes and how Starbucks tries to get you to pay more than you need to just because you can. Also, about how and why supermarkets organize their shelves and sales the way they do (organic products are never put next to their much cheaper counterparts so you don't know the price difference). There's a lot of good knowledge in there. I recommend.

So anyway, I just got done reading this chapter on the negative externalities of gasoline. A negative externality is something that lowers the quality of life of other people without the consumer compensating them. For gasoline, the negative externalities are the pollution produced, as well as the noise and congestion mainly in cities, as well as the danger to pedestrians. No one puts a dollar in your pocket every time you get a face full of exhaust. It's like a guy that goes to a football game and buys a huge foam hat and then sits in front of you. When he bought the hat, he didn't pay you for your inability to watch the game, he just paid for the foam and construction costs and wages of workers and everything that went into getting that particular hat to that particular sports venue. Not for any of the consequences. Of course, there can be positive externalities too, like a guy that makes stuff out of old beer cans so they aren't thrown away. He gets money for his product, but he also helps the environment and reduces litter at no extra charge.

But back to gas. There are too many people dependent on driving in America, and the environment is getting fucked as our cities and highways get more and more crowded. I'm currently working on an idea to help change that. It's called the Gas Pass. Before I can explain it fully, you need to know some history of dealing with gas externalities. In order to offset the cost of externalities, it is traditional practice for the government to levy a tax to compensate for the burden on society (cigarettes, gasoline). The way gas taxing is done in Britain is called the Vehicle Excise Tax. It's basically a big lump sum you pay every year based on the emissions rating of your car. SUVs pay much more than hybrids. Still though, after you've paid this, you can drive around as much as you want. This allows the rich to just pay off this tax and still drive around in inefficient cars and pollute everything. Not cool. To read more about the Vehicle Excise Tax, click here.

In America, we just levy various taxes on oil companies and gas imports, and they're nice enough to pass those costs along to us, so we just all pay more for gas. That's not a huge problem, except it leads to poor people spending a much higher percentage of their total income on gasoline then we'd like, whereas in England most poor people are put off by the Excise Tax and ride the train or a bike. Both solutions have problems, so I suggest a fusion of the two.

Every year you pay a lump sum, like the Vehicle Excise Tax, for a Gas Pass. The Gas Pass would be something you are required to attach to the front of your car, or the inside of your window or something. Like a parking permit. There would be fines for not having one, like there are for the British Tax. Anyway, you sign up for this pass at the DMV, and whenever you go to a gas station, you have to put the pass through a reader before you can buy gas. At start the gas prices would be lower than they are now, because the other taxes would be removed. So you go to the gas station and fill up for cheap then your out. However, the more you go to the gas station in a short period of time, the more it costs you. If you go twice the same day, you might have to pay an additional $5 on top of it. If you go a third time $10. Or you could do it by the gallon per week or something, where the price per gallon goes up every 20 gallons or so. The major point is that the price accelerates the more frequently you drive, in order to discourage you from being dependent on a car. This should motivate poor people to use public transportation and bicycles, while also keeping the rich from driving around all they want without taking a serious monetary hit.

Now the conversion might be tough, but if we can rearrange the tax laws so that the oil companies will be in favor of it, or so consumers want it so much the gas companies have to comply, I think the Gas Pass could be a success.

That took me 3 days to write.

Eddie Izzard: Offering the Finest in Male Lesbian Transexual Stand-Up

Eddie Izzard loves women so much that he likes dressing up as one. Not gay. Fascinating. I first encountered the work of Eddie Izzard in what I feel was one of the most underappreciated films of the past decade, Mystery Men. Little did I know, the "normal" way he appeared in the movie was actually quite abnormal for him.


This is how he usually chooses to appear for stand-up gigs and the like. Classy. Anyways, the reason Eddie Izzard came up was that I was watching 28 Weeks Later at my friend P's house. The movie was pretty sweet because rage zombies are the best zombies, as seen here, you have to verify your age and shit, but you get to watch free videos. Watch the first one, "Infected Attack," it's ridiculous.

Anyways, we were watching this Deleted Scene on the DVD where the family is in the cafeteria just kind of talking to people and being awkward. Then P showed me this perfectly topical piece of Eddie Izzard stand-up comparing British with American film, making it obvious why the scene was deleted.



Enjoy.

Kamehachi: Chicago-area Japanese Food

Kamehachi, as you may be able to figure out, means 8 turtles, a traditional Japanese symbol of long life. Kamehachi is a Japanese sushi-bar/restaurant with 5 locations around Chicago. We went to the Streeterville one at 240 East Ontario, about 6 blocks Northeast of the Grand Ave. Red Line stop. The dining room there was really cool, it was spacious and well lit, and had trees or some plant life all around the outside. The tables and chairs were also pretty neat and the overall atmosphere was very nice.

That being said, almost all of the wait-staff was non-Japanese, so I didn't get to indulge in all the small things that make going to a Japanese restaurant fun like saying gochisousama deshita (it was a feast) to the waiter or ordering in Japanese. It's not a big deal, and I certainly don't condone obnoxiously thanking everyone in the restaurant just to show off your Japanese (you look like an asshole), but it's definitely nice to be able to talk to your waiter and host in their native tongue. No luck here.

Alright, on to the menu, starting with appetizers. Tonight we had the Gyoza, Shumai, and Sauteed Scallops. The Shumai and the Scallops were pretty good, but the Gyoza were amazing. Best Gyoza I've had outside of Japan. They were so good that we ordered another plate. You have to be careful with these guys though, they're extremely tasty and go down real easy, but they don't fill you up at all. For the sake of your wallet, don't order more than enough for everyone to have 2.

Alright, on to Sushi, I tried out two pieces of my favorite Ika (squid) sushi. Nigiri per piece was really expensive, $2.55 for one piece of Ika. The Ika was good, but I've had better for less. I'd recommend the maki (rolls) instead. My brother got the Unakyu maki (eel and cucumber roll) and loved it. That seems to be the way to go.

Entree. I had Nabeyaki Udon, which is Udon noodles in a pot with broth and green onions, fish cake, chicken, and an egg inside. There was also Tempura on the side. The Udon was about standard for America, but sub-par by Japanese standards. I enjoyed because I just like eating Japanese food, but it was really lacking in flavor, so I had to bombard it with shichimi (spicy powder mix, lit: seven tastes). The tempura was ok I guess, but I've never been a fan of tempura and this did nothing to make it stand out. It cost $12, which isn't a bad price for Japanese food in America, and it did fill me up. Still, I felt it could have stood out more like the Gyoza did.

Dessert. We had Mochi Ice Cream, the only Japanese item on the Dessert menu, to finish off the evening. We ordered Mango, Green Tea, and Red Bean. They were all really good, but the red bean stood out in my mind. I love red bean paste, but I hadn't had a red bean ice cream I really liked until this one. Mochi Ice Cream is a really refreshing way to end a meal. It's cold, and the mochi feels like it sticks to your teeth and pulls the gunk off them. I'm pretty sure that's not what's actually happening, but that's what it feels like.

Ok. Final Score.

Appetizers: 9/10. Gyoza is amazing.
Sushi: 6/10. Not bad. Not great.
Entree: 6/10. A lot of food, sort of bland.
Dessert: 4/5. Mochi ice cream is fantastic, but the only Japanese thing on the dessert menu.
Price: 6/10. 10 being cheapest. The sushi was way over priced I felt. The rest was pretty reasonable for a fancy restaurant.
Environment: 4/5. Great dining room. Too bad there aren't any Japanese waiters.

Overall: 35/50. 3.5 stars. I'd probably investigate some other places before going back, but still a pretty good meal. And those gyoza.

Chinatown

Today me and my friends Dan and Teddy, as well as Teddy's friend Ben from Israel went to Chinatown to get some Dim Sum at the Golden Phoenix. If you are unfamiliar with Dim Sum, it's basically the same as a buffet, except the buffet comes to you in the form of tiny, Chinese women pushing carts laden with deliciousness around to all the tables. So we had that, and then around payment time, Ben discovered he had only a $100 bill.


Get it? Benjamin? Anyways, the important part of the story is what happened next. We took a stroll down the main street of Chinatown. We saw hilarious things, like this sign:


It says PENANG when you're driving by, but otherwise, it's just PPEENNAANNGG. Silly.

Then there's this store in Chinatown called World Treasures Emporium. It's a winner. All sorts of random stereotypically chinese stuff for dirt cheap. Which led to this:


And subsequently, this:


Dan's double robe action. Needless to say, we all came out of that store with silk robes, but I also bought a winter hat that has the word RESPECT on it in huge letters in rhinestones, as well as the picture from the Scarface poster, also in rhinestones.


I also got a ridiculously long peacock feather, a switchblade comb, and a Bruce Lee figurine as a gift from Teddy.
Good day, good trip.

Air Alert

Air Alert is like eating a high fiber diet, it's good for you, but no one's really gonna notice or care if you don't. Also if you do it too much you'll shit your pants.

Okay. I feel I owe you an explanation. Air Alert is a 15-week jumping routine designed to increase your vertical jump by about 5 or 6 inches. It involves a series of jumping exercises that escalate to mind blowing intensity by Week 15. If you play a sport regularly or are in good shape, you can probably start on Week 3, but I didn't want to take any chances, so I started on Week 1. Odd numbered weeks go Monday Wednesday Friday, even numbers go Tuesday Wednesday Thursday.

Phew. I just finished my Air Alert for the day. I'm only on Week 5, but it's still a pain in the ass. Don't be like me and procrastinate your Air Alert until you end up doing it at 3 in the morning. I'm an idiot. But I'm kind of glad it's there, otherwise I'd get completely out of shape. Well, I hope I'll see some improvement when frisbee practice starts up in the winter. If anyone reading this is going to either the Trouble in Vegas or Mardi Gras frisbee tournaments, watch out for the kid on GOP that's gonna jump over you. Haha.

Anyways, all the time I've been writing this I've been trying to find a suitable download of Air Alert on the internet. I'm testing one right now...and it's only half-downloaded. But that can be found here. That's Air Alert 2, complete with videos and workout chart. There's also the Air Alert 3 document that I'd be happy to e-mail to anyone (there's probably legal consequences if I post it online myself), just comment on this post or e-mail me at ongakun@gmail.com.

Also, here's some wisdom I picked up from some guys on my frisbee team. The way Air Alert works is you crescendo up to week 12, then you rest week 13 and take it easy on week 14, all of this to prepare you for a ridiculous week 15. Your vertical jump is supposed to be at its highest after week 15, but Week 15 makes it much more likely that you will a) injure your legs and b) never want to do Air Alert again. My friend Yui has done Air Alert before but he injured himself on Week 10. His advice is to not do the squat hops (only in Air Alert 3) and replace them with a couple more sets of leap-ups. He also recommends only going up to Week 12 and then doing Week 8 for maintenance.

Oh, and that download just finished. It's legit. Here it is again.

And. Tonight I was having fourth-meal with one of my buddy's, and he was telling me how his architecture mentor at school is really talented and a bangin' hottie. So. I suggested these two architecture-related pickup lines:

1. When does your new project start, because I could get used to working under you.

2. You can erect something right here if you'd like.

Good luck.

Main Hoon Na: Bollywood at it's Best

This movie has everything. First let me tell you about the genre as listed on imdb, Action/Drama/Romance/Musical/Comedy. So good. So for those of you that don't know much about Bollywood, it's basically a genre of Indian film that is usually a long and complicated love story with tons of arbitrary and hilarious song and dance numbers.

Anyways, Main Hoon Na, is great to start out with because it stars Shah Rukh Khan, the Tom Cruise of India. He's the best romance/action/musical star in the world. I don't want to give too much of the plot away, but basically Shah Rukh Khan is a Major in the Indian Army, and after a terrorist kills his father, he has to go undercover as a college student to protect the general's daughter from the same terrorist as well as find his estranged step-brother and have him help scatter their father's ashes. And then there's all sorts of love stories too! This movie alternates scenes of impossible Matrix-esque action with absurd, over-the-top dance numbers. It's extremely well written and very funny.

Here's a clip from the film. The main character has just saved the life of the most popular kid at school, so now everyone is showing how much they love him.



And here's a compilation of some action clips from the movie, set to "In the End" by Linkin Park. I thought there time in the sun was done, but no, here they are again.



Oh. And Merry Christmas.

Eyeshield 21

Alright. So I was watching the Broncos vs. Chargers game tonight. Not because I'm particularly interested in the outcome, but rather that my fantasy football championship game depends a lot on Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall doing well and LT failing. It's half-time right now, and the first half has not gone well for me. But that's ok. Because I just checked the score (which is really inconvenient using Yahoo, use nfl.com instead) and unless LT scores 32 more points than Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall, I'm a winner. Here's hoping.

Speaking of LT, my older brother was watching the game too, and he isn't a big football fan, but he was really impressed by our boy LaDainian. Then he noticed that LT wears an eyeshield as well as the #21, and is the best runningback in the league, just like the protagonist of one of his favorite mangas, Eyeshield 21. I have not read it myself, but it's about American Football and my brother says it's great, and he's usually right about this kind of stuff, so you can read it in English here.

Anyways, my brother and I assumed that there must be some kind of common piece of football lore that would make the best runningback in the NFL and the main character of a manga so similar. But 8 minutes of searching google has yielded no results, leading me to the only possible conclusion. LaDainian Tomlinson reads Eyeshield 21. And likes it enough to model himself after the main character. What a stud.






































I see it. Do you?

Love Lessons from Mr. Spock (Hilarious)

Blessed is the morning sun

That lights

Your smiling eyes

Blessed are your shining eyes

That touch

My warming heart

Blessed is my joyous heart

That beats

Within your love

-------------

These words are for you

To have

To hold

To keep from now on

Forever

I love you

Need you

I need your laughter

I need your love

Need your warmth

Because

I care about you

And

I love you

------------

I know

That there is nothing

in this world

That you wouldn't do

if I asked you to

And I would do

The same for you

That's right, all these and more can be found in the latest and greatest poetry anthology of America's leading science-fiction actor turned romantic poet, Leonard Nimoy. You hear me right, it's A Lifetime of Love: Poems on the Passages of Life by Leonard Nimoy, and it's coming to a bargain book bin near you!

This is not a joke. I found this for $2.99 at my local borders. Contrary to what you may be thinking, I did not buy it for Nimoy's clever wordplay and passionate couplets, I bought it to be one of those books I can keep on my bookshelf at college, the kind of book that is so horrendously awful and pathetically hilarious that whenever anyone notices it, they're going to laugh for about a minute half. Also, I plan on getting drunk and reading it aloud to my roommate. I'm sorry Charlie, that's just how it's going to be. I strongly recommend buying this book, as the laughs it gets will well be worth the $4 you pay for it. And remember, next time you and your love-mate are in the mood, Spock says:

Live long, and prosper. And use a rubber.

Ninja Warrior

So I've been hearing a lot about this show Ninja Warrior lately. It's basically the Japanese show Sasuke, only subtitled and narrated in English. I've seen it once, but I didn't realize it was such a big deal. I thought it was just another hilarious Japanese people attempt obstacles and are humiliated kind of show. But, apparently the obstacle courses are really difficult and it's a big deal if you make it to the end. Famous gymnists and bodybuilders from around the world go to compete in the tournament. It's pretty neat. In America, you can watch it on G4TV, a primarily video game themed network, but with other cool stuff too. For me it's channel 136 in Chicago, but you can find the channel near you here. Now that I've pumped you up for it, here are some sweet videos:

Top 5 Obstacles



I was going to put the Top 5 wipeouts, but that's not why you watch this show. You watch this show to see spirits get crushed. Here are the Top 5 near misses:



#1 from that clip, Makoto Nagano, is a huge badass. Here's why:



And in case you thought this show was just for the guys, there was also a Women of Ninja Warrior course that seems to be more geared towards balance than upper body strength. Check it out:



So basically, you're gonna have some free time around now. So watch this show. If you want to read more about it, click here.

Once and The Edukators

So I saw the movie Once on the airplane home from Japan, but I really liked so I watched it again two nights ago. Some of the music scenes are so ridiculously awesome that I decided I'd share them with you. This first scene is from when the two main leads first try to play a song together, inside a music store. There's also some other clips from the film spliced in. Enjoy:



Then there's my favorite song from the movie, which I imagined must have required a hundred takes to get right. Then I saw this video of the two main characters performing it live. Note the part where they are just screaming in perfect harmony. Glory.



Okay. So. Now that you're going to the video store to get Once, you should pick up this next film too. It's called The Edukators, and it's a German film that made a pretty big splash at Cannes. It's the kind of movie that can fall apart if you try to point out all the little flaws and improbabilities, but it can be really life-changing if you let it. Here's the trailer:




Cheers.

Heidkamping

So let me tell you about Heidkamping. Well.






This is Mr. Heidkamp. My senior year English teacher.

It all started out with some friends and I visiting Mr. Heidkamp after school last year. We would just stop by his room and either talk about whatever book we were currently reading, or, if we had nothing to say, stick our heads in the door and say "Heidkamp." This daily ritual snowballed throughout the year, until we were singing covers of songs from any and all genres, replacing just about every two syllable word with "Heidkamp."

Here are some examples so the concept sticks:

"Heidkamp bells, heidkamp bells, Heidkamp all the way"

"Heidkamp on my miiiiiiiiind..."

"Heidkamp's mom, has got it goin on"

After we had done this a few times, the history teacher from the room next door, Mr. Schwartz, started coming in to listen. Thusly, we incorporated his name into songs for one syllable words ala "It's the Eye of the Heidkamp, he's the king of the Schwartz."

Anyways, all of this culminated in me giving a graduation speech all about "Heidkamping" as it came to be known, including 5 different songs and a 4 part arrangement of "Heidkamp in D."

Unfortunately, Mr. Heidkamp wasn't at graduation. He had to watch it on tape much later. But then, after showing the tape to his parents, he became a legend in the Heidkamp family. How good does a teacher have to be to have kids sing about him at graduation? Heidkamp good. That's how.

Well the story doesn't end there. Me and my friends go to college now, but we still carry on the torch whenever we're home. One of those times was today. And since we can only Heidkamp a few times a year, we've taken to singing a really good one, with sheet music and fantastic harmony. Today's was "Don't Stop Heidkamping," off of the Journey classic, arranged by my friend Dan who does a lot of a capella stuff at Yale. What's that you say? You need proof?










Take that.

The King and I: Chicagoland's Best Thai Food in America EVER!

Well, it's 4 AM. Again. Another perfect time for a blog post. I'm not sure what I should write about, so I'm going to tell you about The King and I, the best Thai restaurant in the Chicagoland area, according to me.

Okay, let me preface this thing by saying you will probably be able to find better tasting Thai food somewhere in the Chicagoland area if you look hard and are willing to pay more for it. That being said, The King and I is the tits. It's run by two really nice middle-aged ladies and they are very attentive servers. This is really important in a Thai restaurant, as spicy food is a specialty, so it's really nice to have them frequently refilling your water glass and bring rice if you request it. The menu is pretty broad, offering a wide variety of Thai classics, from curry, to rice dishes, and of course, pad thai. Now I've been going there pretty regularly for almost a year now, so I've developed a usual. The chefs know exactly how I like my pad thai, and the ladies always know what I'm going to order when I come in. The restaurant has a really good atmosphere, the single dining room is well lit, never feels crowded with tables, and I've never had to wait for a seat. It's always just a really good experience, and being in the place is very soothing, especially after a hard work shift.

Now the dealbreaker for The King and I is the price. While most Thai restaurants will have you paying in the $10-13 range for an entree, most King and I offerings are between 6-9 dollars. In addition, until 3 pm they offer a $6 lunch special which comes with soup (Hot and Sour is delicious), spring or egg roll, and an entree. This may not seem like a huge deal, but with these prices I can afford to go there regularly, only having to pay as much as a Chipotle burrito, which I think is a great deal for really good Thai food.

King and I is located in my hometown, Chicago-suburb Oak Park. To view a Google Map, click here. Otherwise, the address is:

105 N. Marion St. (Just North of the train tracks on Marion)

Oak Park, IL 60302

(708) 383-2975

I recommend you stop by and check it out. Hey, you'll probably see me there.

ULTIMATE FRISBEE VIDEO GAME...

IS A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT.

Today I was out at the mall shopping for DS games and Nagano Snatch playing cards when I happened across something incredible in the KB Toys Bargain Bin. That's right it's Original Frisbee Disc Sports: Ultimate and Golf. I was ecstatic. Me and so many of my kind have been waiting for ages for an Ultimate Frisbee video game, and for my newly-purchased DS, what luck!

It was all downhill from the title. I couldn't agree more with Gamezone.com's review of the product when they say, "Fans of Ultimate and Disc Golf should get a few minutes of enjoyment from this DS collection." I was so determined to like this game despite how shitty I knew it would be. I mean, I knew from the box the graphics were mediocre, and it was in a KB toys bargain bin, but I was determined to put all that aside because it was an Ultimate Frisbee game. A first. A trendsetter. Unfortunately, that just isn't enough. The game creates the illusion of fun until you know how to play, and then it's over. The game is 4v4, the only option is a single game against the same AI computer every time, no difficulty settings, no different teams, nothing. But wait, you can pick your 4-man team from an exhausting list of OVER 5 PLAYERS. That meaning 6 players, and they don't have names, but they do have races, which makes the skill distribution hilarious. The asian is a handler, the black guy is really fast, the white guy is balanced, the Indian guy plays good defense... Making fun of the game developer's racial stereotyping is probably the most fun you'll have with this game. BUT WAIT! You can play against a friend! But it's necessary that they buy this heinous cartridge too, so I'd recommend cutting your losses.

The gameplay is shitty. It attempts to combine the buttons and the stylus in a way that makes gameplay awkward rather than innovative. The top screen shows the heavily pixelated players running around while the touch screen is a bird's eye view of players running around. You need to use the arrows and buttons to run around and throw, but the stylus at the same time to run plays. There are three plays each for offense and defense, but on offense you can also have a player cut by clicking him on the touch-screen and tapping where you want him to go. Cool right? Hell no. As soon as you throw it, you take control of the cutter, and have to have him continue the cut manually if you correctly remember how far and which direction the throw is going. The touch screen shows you the final destination of the throw, but doesn't show you how fast it is going or how close it is. This has you looking sort of frantically between the two screens and makes it needlessly difficult to complete a pass. That being said, if you are lucky enough to reach the brightly colored destination marker, you only have to stand there and you will catch it. Sorry Defense. Speaking of Defense, it's stupid. You can only play defense by moving into the path of the disc and catching it, no layouts, no skying, no hand blocks or any kind of knocking it away from the person that you're guarding. All of this makes man defense basically useless. So the best idea is just to play zone and try to get lucky. Any turnover you achieve feels like luck rather than skill, so any success in this game is hollow. It's just not fun.

Now there's the golf aspect too, which I can tell is more faithful than Ultimate, but I'm really not one for golfing video games. I know it's frisbee golf, and it's sort of cool that you can kind of curve around stuff. But other than that it's just a basic golf game, there are no different kind of throws, and instead of different clubs you have different discs. There's slightly more depth to golf with 18 holes and a practice mode, but that's not why I bought the game, and from what I can tell, any golf game would be better.

So here's the thing. Despite just laying down a huge whomping on this game, I can guarantee you that I'm still going to play it a bunch more times, just hoping it will get better. I know it won't, but I really like Ultimate and this is all I have right now. So, if you really love Ultimate and want to play this game knowing full well it sucks, you can buy it here. And for only $8. It's definitely not worth more.

Back to America: A Crazy Ride Home

Alright. First. Some business concerning previous posts. It has been brought to my attention by one andrewh that the download link I provided for the Magic the Gathering Computer Game was not free, and since no one likes things that aren't free, I invite you to try this link instead. I haven't used it myself, but don't blame me for any spyware or viruses. Freedom has a price.

Also, I discovered that the kanji game I have is not 250 Mannin no Kanken but rather Minna no DS seminar. It's pretty hard to understand and there really is no easy setting, so I'd recommend this game only for advanced students. I'm currently looking into getting some simpler games. Also, I found a good website for buying these games in America. Yeah.

Oh. So. On my flight home. I first flew from Central Japan Airport in Nagoya to San Francisco. There were these two babies on my flight who decided the time had finally come to see who could cry loudest, longest, and with most evident distress. I enjoyed the competitive spirit, but not the 90 minutes of sleep. There were also so many movies I wanted to see. I ended up watching The Darjeeling Limited, and Once. The Darjeeling Limited was funny and had a lot of great shots, but for some reason the sound came through so quietly even on full volume that I ended up missing some key lines of dialogue that explained the thrust of the movie. I still recommend even though there were gaps in the plot I couldn't hear.

Once, well, I really liked Once a lot. I've never really liked musicals, but I really like music, so I feel that there is a quality of overacting and insincerity in most musicals that are completely absent in this one. It's just people singing a bunch of good songs all the time. Man, I really dig Irish music, and there's this one scene when they're recording an album when they're singing and playing a song, and then they just start yelling in harmony and it's just so loud and so perfect. I cried a little during this movie. It is good.

Anyways, so I got to San Francisco and after picking up some See's candies for my Dad, I got on my flight to Chicago. I was planning on sleeping the whole flight, but fate had something else in mind. Have you ever seen that episode of House where he's on the airplane? It was like that, well, almost. There was a guy sitting three rows in front of me who was apparently having some sort of heart trouble. Luckily for him, the people sitting next to, behind, and across from him were all doctors. So these doctors would take a medical history and try to figure out what was wrong with him and the flight attendants were rushing back and forth bringing first aid kids and blankets and other passengers were standing up trying to see what was going on. Then they set up an IV and brought out the defibrillator, which they thankfully never had to use. It was all really intense and interesting, so there was no way I was gonna sleep. We called in to Air Traffic control and we got to enter immediately, and when we got there paramedics came on and took the lucky guy away in a stretcher. The diagnosis was some kind of arrhythmia (sp?). I wonder what would've happened if there weren't all those doctors right there.

Anyways, when it was all done, two of the doctors, who happened to be married to each other, commended there two small children on being quiet and letting Mommy and Daddy help someone. Then the first thing the little boy says is, "I hated that." Kids.

So that's why I got 90 minutes of sleep in the past 24 hours. I guess I'm gonna go to bed.

My Last Night in Japan

Well, it's finally here. My last night in Japan. It's gonna be tough going back to America, but i do sort of miss everyone. Anyways, here's some stuff I've learned/done over the past few days.

I bought a DS and some Kanji learning software. You can buy software here. Sorry that it's in Japanese, but the games are too. The game I got is called ２５０万人の漢検　or Kanji Practice for 2 million 500 thousand people. Again, one of those words that's much more efficient in Japanese. I haven't played it much yet, but it seems real fun. You can find a review here. I'll post my own review as I get used to the game. But right now, I'm pretty excited.

Other news, a revelation I had earlier this weekend, speaking a lot is important. I study Japanese a lot, but always vocab, grammar, listening, and kanji, never speaking. So i know a lot of words, even some my buddy Alex who has been here for the past 8 months doesn't know, but I'm just garbage at speaking. I mean, I can have a conversation and usually understand what's going on, but it takes me a while to say what I want to say, which makes it a real burden to have a conversation with me. So, what you can do, is find someone who is fluent in Japanese, and talk to them about anything. BUT, try to convey what you want to say as quickly as possible. Try to eliminate any time where you're just sitting there thinking or saying "uhhhh." You're going to make mistakes, so practicing with your Sensei is probably sub-ideal (unless your sensei is real cool), but you're ability to say what you want to quickly will greatly improve. Think about it like this: if you want to get in shape to run a marathon, you don't do it by walking 26.3 miles every day and then gradually picking up speed. You start out running short distances and then build up to the full distance, all the while improving your form. It's the same in languages, you need to force your brain run or it won't get in shape. I find that slow and awkward speaking a major flaw in most language education, and especially the way Japan teaches English. For example, my host sister Natsumi in Nagano has a huge vocabulary because college entrance exams judge you on how many words you know. However, she struggles in even simple conversations, so we always talk in Japanese even though her vocabulary is way bigger than mine. It's fucked up.

Back to the point, the way you use language in real life isn't like a test, you don't get to take your time or come back to something. You have about a two-second window to find exactly what you want to say and say it correctly. Japanese people will tell you to take your time, but inside they're thinking of all the useful things they could be doing rather than waiting for you to say what you want to say. This goes for looking things up in a dictionary as well, try to use other ways of saying what you want to say, or describe the word in question until the other person knows what you're saying. That's what you'd do if you didn't know a word in English, so that's what you should do in Japanese as well. For example, if you didn't know the word eki-in (train station attendent) and also didn't know the word eki (station), you could say 電車が着く所で働く人、densha ga tsuku tokoro de hataraku hito, the person who works at the place where trains arrive. I know it's long and awkward, but so is the 45-second gap in conversation while you pull out your dictionary and look it up. Any time spent speaking Japanese is infinetely more productive than not speaking Japanese. As a general rule. Learn to live without the jisho.

Well, that concludes my rant. I'll finish up my post with some pictures I took at a shrine-temple complex near Toyokawa. Really what trip to Japan would be complete without a good temple-visit. Sayonara suckaz:

Magic the Gathering: The Computer Game

One might be wondering why I'm typing this at 4:40 in the morning. Well, the short reason is because of Magic the Gatherings single player computer game. If you enjoy the real life card game, or card games in general, this computer game is very faithful to the cards as well as highly addictive. The single player mode, Shandalar, puts you into the game as a wizard, playing with whatever color you choose to start, and then　evolving into all sorts of crazy deck ideas. You fight all sorts of monsters enemies (in card games with your deck) and you can take cards from them if you win. You can also explore dungeons and do quests, and travel to different merchants to buy a certain card. The ultimate goal is to defeat the five wizards (one for each color) and then the main bad guy, who's name I forgot, so we'll call him Deathmaster. Deathmaster is extremely difficult, so you need to have built a very strong deck to beat him.





This game shows so much more creativity and imaginative gameplay than the string of Yu-Gi-Oh games that dominated the video card game genre years after this Windows 95 wonder's release. I'd really like to see some kind of game like it, but as this kind of game does nothing to show off graphics, but rather it's poor homeless cousin "art", it probably won't be made. Well, actually, they could make a sweet fantasy world with great CG and stuff and then the card games could use good art. I hope someone in a game developing studio reads this. Bring back Shandalar. It worked.

If you want to download the game, click here. Don't be afraid if you don't already know how to play. The game is pretty simple to pick up, and there are rules available online and in the program. That being said, it is now time to go sleep on my fresh futon. It's fresh because the dog peed on my old one. Ha ha, goddammit.

Mountain Climbing in Toyokawa

Alright. So. I drank so much yesterday that I couldn't do Air Alert (shitty jumping exercises), so I did that this morning. Then I rode my bike 20 miles and climbed a mountain. This is my story.

So Alex had it planned out that today would be what he likes to call an Adventure Day. Basically we left home on our bikes and biked towards these mountains that were way off in the distance, and didn't stop except to visit his host mom in the hospital. We basically just trucked it for 10 miles until there wasn't a road anymore, then we climbed. We climbed through this forest with a dried up stream bed, and it was really beautiful, and there was this old decomposed vehicle of some kind too:



We finally reached the top of that mountain, which was a construction site on the mountain we had originally intended to climb. I think they were turning it into some sort of residential area, kinda sucks that they need to destroy a mountain to do that.


We tried to go to the very top, but some construction workers told us we couldn't, even when we told them we work for a magazine (we don't) they said that today wasn't good and to come back another day. Anyways, the top of the mountain, even though it wasn't the very top, was still really high up, so we took some killer pictures.





Then we climbed to the top of the mini-mountain in the photo above, and we reached a small shrine in the middle of the woods, which we took as a proverbial sign that we had reached the end.


So we climbed back down, stopping briefly to carve our names into a tree and got back to our bikes. Now this is the part where I'm and idiot. I don't know how much you know about Japanese bike locks, but they are basically part of the bike, and then there's this metal piece you can pull out to stop the wheel from moving. Well, the little metal piece must have fallen out of my pocket at some point during the climb, because it wasn't there when we got back. Oh Fuck. First I tried to pick the lock with tweezers and a toothpick from Alex's swiss army knife, then Alex just beat the shit out of it with a rock until it finally broke. It was actually sort of cool, overcoming adversity like that, except for the fact that the lock broke. I hope it's fixable/replaceable.

From there it was a ridiculously long bike ride home during which we sort of got lost, but then we asked for directions and this lady guided us to a station Alex knew. Then we took an extra long way to go to a liquor store to reward ourselves. I bought the requisite 6-pack of Yebisu Black as well as a can of every beer I've never had before. It looked something like this:


It was at the register of the liquor store that I realized I was yet again out of money. Fuck that.

The Yebisu Museum

I just arrived in Nagoya and I'm now writing on Alex's computer, the same one he uses to write his blog. If I told you I was sober right now, I would be an うそつき, or liar. That's thanks to a successful day at the Yebisu Museum in Ebisu, Tokyo. If you're looking for something to do in Tokyo, I highly recommend this museum. Yui, Chris, and I left Yui's house around 1:00 and wisely decided to buy my ticket to Nagoya first, while we were still sober enough to do so. Then it was off to the Yebisu museum. The museum consists of a large central room with a tour going from the left-hand side and a tasting room on the right. First-timers are encouraged to take the tour, while repeat visitors can head straight to the prize on the right. The museum itself is free, and tasting costs about 200 yen for a 350ml draft beer. But we'll discuss that in more depth later. The tour was kind of fun, but all in Japanese, so somewhat difficult to understand. They had some neat old-fashioned brewing machines as well as some attractive glasswear and computer quizzes on beer knowledge. Here are some pictures I took from the tour:





But really, the tour pales in comparison to the tasting room. It's 200 yean for Yebisu Black (the best ever) and regular Yebisu (also awesome) and 250 yen for Weiss, which is actually really good and I think only sold in the museum. You can get some other Sapporo products and Guinness too for more money, but don't. The Black is where it's at. I had nine beers total, 5 Yebisu Black, 3 Regular, and 1 Weiss. It was delicious. With each beer you also get some complimentary beer snacks, which are pretty tasty. We spent a couple hours drinking, talking, and playing Nagano Snatch, and it was great fun. I don't have any pictures of this, but I'll show you some great shots I took while enjoying the black for the first time yesterday. Just imagine these pictures times 5.





Finally it was time to leave, and we headed to Tokyo station to catch my shinkansen. We got to the station in time to drunkenly devour some tasty curry, then it was time to say goodbye. I had a great time with Yui and Chris, and I can't wait to hang out with them back in the Minnie-Min. I rode the Shinkansen drunk, and it was sort of difficult because I was paranoid about missing my stop. So I read some Dostoevsky and The Cat Who Lived a Million Times again. I arrived in Nagoya safely, and now I'm ready ready for bed.

Children's Books and Beautiful Black Beer

Let me start things off with this video.



This is one of the funniest South Park clips ever. For those of you unable to translate the Japanese, it goes something like this:

A wonderful penis thing
The testicles have hair
Is that sound a baby monkey?
No, it's Ninjas!

Hey, Hey, Let's go, there's a fight
The important thing is to protect my balls
I'm a badass, So let's fighting
Let's fighting love

That being said, I have discovered my favorite beer and my favorite children's book. Both today. First was the children's book,
hyaku-man kai ikita neko, or The Cat Who Lived a Million Times. It's about a cat that has a million different lives with all kinds of people who love it very much, but it always hates the people. Then it becomes a stray cat for one of its lives and loves it because it gets to focus on itself all the time. This cat then becomes really popular with all the other cats because of all the stuff he's learned in his million lives, so he starts to get really full of himself. Except there's this one beautiful white cat that never even notices him. He keeps going up to her saying things like "i've lived a million times i can do all sorts of tricks" and she just says "that's true." Finally, the cat realizes he's not gonna impress this other cat with his previous lives, so he just humbles himself and asks if he can sit with her, and she says yeah. So then they get married and have a bunch of kids and eventually all the kids leave home and the two cats get old. Then the white cat dies, and the cat who lived a million times cries a million times for days on end, and dies and doesn't come back to life. It's an awesome story, and I could actually read and understand it in Japanese with just a little help from Yui. I highly recommend children's books, especially this one, for practicing reading Japanese. I bought it at Village Vanguard, which is basically a spencer's gifts of Japan, with tons of really weird stuff. It was such an awesome purchase, i think I'll read it again tonight.



From Village Vanguard we headed to a small bar named Harmonica, Chris knew which served Yebisu (king of Japanese beers) on tap. We were expecting just regular Yebisu, but we discovered they had Yebisu Black (like Guiness) on tap. We each ordered a glass at what we thought was an overpriced 530 yen. Oh how wrong we were. It was the most delicious beer I've ever had and we took some great pictures of ourselves enjoying it, which I will hopefully put up tomorrow. We happily ordered a second glass of the dark ambrosia then took the train home. While walking home from the station we stopped at the konbini and bought yet another Yebisu Kuro (black), and discovered it was almost as delicious from a can as it was from the tap. I'm going through some anxiety over this because I know it will be nearly impossible to get this beer in the states. If anyone knows where you can get Yebisu in the states or online, please please please let me know. It's just too delicious.

We ended the day drinking beers and eating snacks (I recommend Cratz) in the park. Tomorrow we're going to go to the Yebisu museum, which happens to have a tasting room. Hell Yes. I'll see you tomorrow if I'm sober enough to remember.

Tonkatsu Snatch, Nagano Snatch, and Other Fun Card Games to Be Played Without Women

Right now I'm at my buddy Yui's house in Tokyo, and I am unable to upload any pictures, oh wait, Yes I am, he has an SD reader built into his laptop. Suh-weet. So me, Yui, and Chris spent just about all of today traveling from Nagano to Tokyo, and I have to say it was the best day of travel I've ever had. We got up late this morning mainly because of the large quantity of beer we consumed the night before and the late hours we spent playing Tonkatsu Snatch.

Which brings me to my main point, Tonkatsu Snatch is the greatest. Any invented card game that is still fun after 2 hours will likely be fun forever. I'm pretty sure that'll hold up. Anyways. Tonkatsu Snatch was born on Chris and Yui's bus ride up to Nagano. It started out as a version of war, except when you have two cards of the same value against each other you can try to "snatch" the card from the other person's hand. They then upgraded it to any time there are two cards of the same suit, the lower card can try to snatch the higher one. Only one snatch per card. If any of these snatching rules are broken (multiple snatches, snatch from high to low), the rule breaker receives a backhanded slap. When Yui and Chris arrived in Nagano, we soon adapted this masterwork game into a three person variant, where any time there are two of the same card or two cards of the same suit a snatch-for-all occurs, in which any player can snatch a card greater than or equal to their own. If no snatch is successful, the highest card wins. If a successful snatch occurs, the other player keeps their card in hand below the next card, to be snatched, won or lost on the next round. All of the same slapping rules apply for misdemeanors. The game ends when one person runs out of cards, at which point he is slapped by both other players, and then the player with the most cards wins. Don't be perturbed by all the rules, as the game will still be fun while most of these are bent or broken. The name tonkatsu snatch comes from Chris's habit of accidentally calling the kotatsu (heated table) where we play, tonkatsu (pork cutlet) combined with the given snatching nature of the game. Also, this is what I would look like if I were Jesus:

Next is Nagano Snatch, which we invented on the train from Yamanouchi to Nagano. Although Nagano Snatch is a much simpler game, it requires some special equipment, namely a deck of nude playing cards. The game is played similarly to spades, where all the cards (including the Jokers) are dealt out to the three players. The players must follow suit, as in hearts or spades, and the MOST ATTRACTIVE card wins. This is subjective, but it isn't hard to reach a consensus. If it is between two cards, the third player not involved in the dispute is the judge. If you do not have any cards of a certain suit, you can play any card, and jokers are every suit. For additional fun you can play with the scoring system of spades, making it a really multi-faceted game. Try different decks and players to change the experience. We played this game for 4 hours on the bus to Tokyo amidst downing a liter and a half of delicious Japanese beer apiece, I highly recommend.

We're currently working on some more games to incorporate into some kind of Todd, Chris, and Yui olympics. That should be pretty sweet. Also, has anyone seen that awesome kimchi commercial on fujiTV, I think. It's where this guy adds a bunch of green onions to a pot of kimchi in slow motion, then he reaches in his chop sticks with his mouth wide open ALSO in slow motion, then eats it. All the while, in the background the music is a bunch of men yelling "Kimuchi Kimuchi, Kimuchi Kimuchi". It's probably my favorite commercial ever. I will be forever indebted to anyone who finds me a link to it online. I looked hard, but this is what I found instead. Make sure you watch to the very end, that's the best part.

Engrish around Nagano Station, and a Little Something on the Side

I know, I know, I already posted today, but this is important. Last night I went to pick up two of my buddies from Tokyo at Nagano Station. I noticed as you head towards a more populated area, the concentration of Engrish greatly increases. For those of you not familiar with Engrish, it's basically any hilarious use of English by Japanese people including replacing l's with r's, improper grammer, and bizzare word choice. For hilarious examples, click here. Anyways, I found some great stuff around Nagano station, try to find it if you're ever in the area:

Then let's go to the beach!

Yep.

I hope I never get one of those.

These are my friends Chris and Yui from Tokyo. They're thuggin thuggin thuggin. This picture was taken right before a kickass day of skiiing and boarding that happily ended with Chris fucking up his ankle.

And this is what I had for dinner last night:

That's right, it's a steak donburi. Really awful idea. Really all you have is a mediocre steak and a plain bowl of rice, and then your out 1000 yen. Gotta love Gusto.

And I have one more treat for you, this is a video Yui showed me today when we got back from the mountains. It's basically hilarious. I give you, "Taking Off All of My Clothes Off."